To
feel love for someone and their love in return is the most wonderful experience
of our lives. When we feel love, we experience joy and fulfillment, but when it
is absent we rapidly become unhappy and disillusioned. The search for love
defines our lives and plays a critical role in the quality of our
relationships. Love really does make our world go round!
Unfortunately
we are rarely given any teaching about love, and yet with a little
understanding and awareness it can transform our lives. Love can solve problems
and heal emotional pain, but only when we allow ourselves to experience its
power - we must invite love into our lives.
Consider
for a moment the times when you have fallen in love or felt the love of a
parent, child or friend. It is almost impossible to describe those comforting
feelings of connection and well-being. Notice how anxieties and problems fall
away to be replaced by solutions, ease and confidence. There is a timeless
quality about love that buoys you up and protects you in even the most
despairing of times. You are experiencing the power of love to heal and bring
joy and success into your life.
Love
is the fundamental truth of life. We are born to love and be loved. It is our
natural state. Some people prefer to see this love as a characteristic of our
humanity while others prefer to see it as the manifestation of a divine or
spiritual source of love. Whatever our personal belief, the power of love is
experienced when we connect open-heartedly with others and embrace our natural
connections.
Our
emotional and relationship problems result from our denial of love - our
separation from the love that bonds all people and separation from our higher
or spiritual source of love. This denial usually starts when we are very young
and has a damaging impact on our lives. Perversely, we invent all manner of
negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours to distract us from the love that we
already possess. In romantic relationships we then search for love from another
person, or try to gain fulfillment from material possessions, to replace the
love that we believe is lacking within. This is a terrible mistake because
until we have rediscovered self-love, we cannot give or receive love fully from
somebody else.
Luckily
the best place to work on finding self-love is within a supportive
relationship. All relationships have their challenges and it is by working with
our partner through the difficult times that a partnership is strengthened.
Relationships fail because of our inability to get to the core emotional issues
that create the separation. These will be our fears and insecurities and lack
of self-belief. In our attempt to hide away any sense of low self-worth we make
ourselves unavailable to our partner. It is like building a fortress around
ourselves - we think it protects us but in reality it damages or even destroys
our relationships.
The
way to embrace our loving essence and our natural connections with others is to
be willing to feel all our emotions and communicate about them maturely to our
partners. We can also ask them about there feelings and commit to working with
them to heal any fear.. Normally we will find that they have just the same
fears and insecurities as us, but may play them out in different styles.
Getting to these core issues is the key to healing the pain and fear in a
relationship and to becoming more bonded.
As
we achieve such healing within our relationships we will automatically discover
more success in our lives, we will feel more fulfilled and this will make us
happier. We can all do this if we can find the courage to feel our emotions and
reveal them within our relationships. As our hearts open we will feel all the
love that has been hidden behind our defenses and our relationships will go
from strength to strength.
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